Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still pissing in the wind.

2. AN EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15. ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. RUGGED - Too damn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING - Achieved when the power switch is off.

20. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.